magickat

Dear Jimmy...

Dear Jimmy,

I love it.

I love it and I think it is fantastic. I am smiling and laughing thinking about it. Just about as much as you used to do when reading copy during Weekend Update.

As someone who is Officially In Love With Conan O'Brien... to get my seal of approval, see... well.. I think that's pretty damn good. It's not like we are replacing a Darren here but still, it is definitely a situation of trying to find an ideal match, a suitable compliment. And, Jimmy, I just want to tell you that I think you are beyond the term "suitable". I think you are a delightful and perfect fit.

What I love about you is the fact that you seem just so damned happy to be doing what you are doing. You laugh gleefully all through it. You laugh at your own jokes and you break character to laugh at the silliness of the people around you. I have ZERO problem with that because it is a sign of joyful bliss that you truly love and relish what you do and are just so happy to be doing it and I get it and I dig it and I love it.

I look forward to long nights on the couch cozied up with you and Conan for a couple of hours, laughing and tossing my hair nonchalantly in case you might notice. Yes. I crush, Jimmy. I crush and I admit it. And Conan knows and he doesn't care because he likes the idea that he has maybe moved to second position because his comedy comes from the whole self-depricating thing.

Did I like the taxi movie you made? No. Did I even see Fever Pitch? Not even a trailer, honey.

But I love me some Pat Sullivan - shit I almost named my dog "Zazu" except he turned out to be a boy.

And your "Jarret" is adorable. That's where that whole laughing at everyone else in the scene comes into play the most.

And no one does Barry Gibb like you, baby.

And do I NEED to start talking about my obsession with "Wake Up, Wakefield"?

So congrats. Congrats to you, Jimmy Fallon. You will make a fantastic host of Late Night. I look forward to being in your studio audience multiple times. I look forward to waiting to get into your studio for the taping and flirting with newscasters in the hallways of 30 Rockefeller and trying to seduce them with my 5-7-9 jeans and mistaking them for one another and hitting on the local anchor when I'm thinking I'm making love-connections with the Nightly News guy.

But I'll be thinking of you the whole time.

Because I love you, Randy....

Love your friend,

Kat

The Bus To Nowhere (Revisited)

Everything is to nowhere. Simulated travel experiences. Sometimes filming them twice. Like yesterday. All sorts of imaginary rides going nowhere. It's rather silly.

But what is not silly and not imaginary is the fact that I left my car lights on all day. ALL day. So when I was wrapped 13 hours after leaving my car in the first place, my car was dead. The Car To Nowhere. Not a gag, not a joke, not a simulated travel experience. Car = dead. Me = laughing it off. Typical ending to a ridiculous week of going nowhere. And might I add here, I am so glad to be a girl because it totally helps in such situations. And might I also add here, I love boys. Boys kick ass. They are so good at helping and knowing stuff about cars and fixing things. Three cheers for boys right here, right now.

Today I rest. Today I have to catch up with everything I've been unable to do this week because I clocked in over 40 hours of work in three days time. And I have to get to bed very early today because I have a 4am call time tomorrow which means I have to be up and at em at the hellish hour of 2am. This is why I do not sleep or have a normal social life or healthy relationships. Who goes to work at 4am on a Saturday besides paperboys and the milkman? This is serious buillshit! Still being at work from the previous day at 4am I have learned to accept. And I am used to reporting at, say, 6am. But 4am report time? What kind of sick person made that in-time decision? Have they no soul? Don't they see this now ruins the first Friday evening I have had off in over a month? I'm going to have to go to bed at 6pm tonight which is, for the record, going to be completely impossible.

The joint around here has changed. I am pimping out for Miami which is now 48 days away (more than I previously thought because I am so bad at math I cannot even count upwards properly). We've got the Miami scenery, a great photo from a past vacation where I am joyously holding a cocktail, and even a tip jar where my good friends and neighbors can add to the fund to purchase more of those great cocktails during the getaway. My traveling chickas and I are also happy to announce that we will be guest-bartending at Rebel in NYC on Friday the 13th (of June) as a pre-celebration for our trip. Strong drinks and debauchery is planned so if you are in the area you need to get there. According to my calender (and hopefully I am counting right) I've got about three more weeks of crazy before I take time off from working (and saving for the trip) to start the June classes. The tarot class is postponed until early fall, but I've got other stuff to take it's place and so that all worked out.

Three more weeks of crazy. I think I can handle it.

I have been getting lots of questions about the health benefits of dandelions and about the taste. I was going to add a link but to save time I'm am just going to paste an excerpt on them below. And as far as the taste goes, when they are steamed or sauteed they seem to have almost a bittery collard greens taste like somewhere between spinach (which I LOVE) and the collard green. In a root tea, they taste almost nutty, almost like sunflower seeds even. And my previous remark about flavor still stands: they most definitely taste like sunshine.

"Dandelion is also a rich source of vitamins and minerals. Dandelion is a nutritive herb rich in potassium, calicum, and lecithin, with iron, magnesium, niacin, phosphorus, proteins, silicon, boron, and zinc. Active constituents of dandelion leaf include bitter glycosides, carotenoids, terpenoids, choline, potassium salts, vitamin A, vitamin D, vitamin C, various B vitamins, iron, silicon, magnesium, zinc, and manganese. The root also has bitter glycosides, tannins, triterpenes, sterols, volatile oil, choline, asparagine, and inulin. The primary constituents responsible for dandelion's action on the digestive system and liver are the bitter sunstances which is called taraxacin. The bitter principles are sesquiterpene lactones of the eudesmanolide and germacranolide type, and are unique to dandelion.

Dandelion is extremely versatile, as the whole plant can be used for medicinal purposes as well as for culinary uses. As a medicinal plant, dandelion has been considered to be an aperient, diuretic, stimulant, stomachic, tonic, and detoxicant. Dandelion leaves are unique as a diuretic. Dandelion leaves contain significant amounts of potassium, a mineral generally lost when using conventional medications. It is an ideal diuretic for heart problems and hypertension (high blood pressure). Dandelion is a natural diuretic that increases urine production by promoting the excretion of salts and water from the kidney. Dandelion tea has been used against fever, insomnia, jaundice, rheumatism, eczema and other skin diseases, and constipation.

The dandelion sap, leaves, and root extracts are ingested for its diuretic properties. They're used to stimulate stomach secretions and aid in digestion, to relieve constipation and control diarrhea, to stimulate bile production, to treat liver disorders, to prevent or lower high blood pressure, to relieve the pain of endometriosis, and to inhibit plaque buildup on teeth. Leaves are also used to treat high blood pressure because of their ability to reduce the volume of fluid in the body. Fresh or dried dandelion herbs are also used as a mild appetite stimulant and to improve upset stomach. Dandelion cleanses the bloodstream and increases bile production, and is a good remedy for gall bladder problems. Dandelion root encourages steady elimination of toxins. It works on the liver, the kidneys and the gallbladder to accelerate the removal of toxins from the body. Dandelion also treats arthritic conditions, which include osteoarthritis and gout."

See? They are AMAZING!

"MMMmmm, dandelions. Is there anything they can't do?"

The Train To Nowhere

Another day, another simulated travel experience. Days are all blended so closely together that I had no idea it was Thursday until about 10 minutes ago. I would celebrate that it just makes me closer to the weekend quickly than I thought, except that I am working all weekend and so really there is no lazy days in the sun to look forward to.

I think it's supposed to rain anyway.

The exciting job I have been looking forward to starting begins next week. No case of the Monday's here. I definitely look forward to that. And starting Monday the trickle of fun and excitement begins and will trip off about a month of really good stuff between work and classes. All the stuff I've been looking forward to all starts on Monday.

Until then, I will contine pretend trips to nowhere for a daily rate and insurance credits.

Two Things To Address

Two things are currently pissing me off right now.

#1 . In the last few weeks I have had no less than 4 guys offer to send me naked photos of them over my phone. What makes it really annoying is that these are people I work with and are generally friends with. I do not understand this. Isn't that sort of crossing the line? Wait - no what's really crossing the line is someone actually sending me photos of them naked and at full salute "down there". Again, cut to me continuing not to understand this behavior. I really don't get it. I am baffled by this current trend. Is it the Spring air getting people riled up? Is it me? Am I giving off some vibe that I want to see the dicks of every person with a fucking cell phone in the tri-state area? Every time my phone happily declares "someone sent you a picture!" I cringe and am afraid to open the link. Spam is less upsetting. At least with spam you know that if you click on the link you are going to see the twig and berries. With my phone and the (pardon the pun) ballsy actions of certain people lately I have no idea if I am going to see a picture of a Boston Terrier or a photo of someones Mr. Johnson.

#2. Almost as disgusting as item number one, can someone please tell cashiers that if they cannot separate the opening of a shopping bag that it is completely UNACCEPTABLE to lick their fucking fingers to get leverage on the plastic? That is about as gross as actually just licking a complete stranger directly. Why on Earth would I want to hold a bag in my good, clean hands after someone has licked their fingers and wiped them on it? I spend a good portion of my time on personal hygiene and avoidance of other peoples germs. Is it okay with everyone if I would rather not take moist saliva from someone I do not know and hold it in my palm while trying to transport my purchases? Is there some other method we can all, as a people, come up with in order to separate difficult plastic? A sponge perhaps or, gee I don't know, maybe a two-handed fucking effort? Here's a thought: how about the cashiers of today actually stop what they are doing to focus on their fucking job and give me proper customer service which includes direct eye contact, a little more speed in their scanning, and a little less moisture on my shopping bags. I think if they stopped gazing out the window or talking on the phone while trying to bag my groceries they would be a lot more successful in getting the thin sheers of plastic separated on the first try. Sans finger licking, sans tongue.

I'm just saying.

The Plane To Nowhere

My schedule is all off kilter. I am sometimes working until 6 in the morning and then sometimes working starting at 6 in the morning. Sleep deprived is not the proper term. Completely fucked sounds more like it.

When I am sleeping, it's not a sound rest. I can't fall asleep all the way and its frustrating. There is always a part of me that is awake. It's not stress. It's just a lack of a steady routine and rhythm and I think I am so tired that I am beyond tired if that even makes sense. I wrapped out on a job at 5am on Sunday morning and had to be up all day on Sunday and then starting a job today at 7am. There's just not enough consistancy in my sleep.

This might sound like I am complaining and the thing is - in truth - I am actually really happy. Work has been bountiful and I've been having a really good time every day. And yesterday, even though I was exhausted - was lots of fun. The table read for PIC's screenplay was yesterday and it was nice to spend an afternoon with people doing something we all enjoy to do: play pretend. The whole time I wanted to shout to PIC and say "this is totally going to sell!". It's very exciting to be there for the beginning of something great. It is very energizing.

But today I drag my feet. I am hoping that tomorrow I am not working but I have a feeling I am. But then, of course, that makes me happy anyway. So whatever happens happens. I'll take a break soon.

T-52 days until the Miami trip. I'll sleep then.

Flower Pimp

This isn't about Mothers Day, although I do celebrate the fabulous mothers in my life (grandmother, aunties, sister, friends). This is about the dandelion.

I have become a convert, people. If I was in a cult it would be called 'Yearn For Dandelion'. Ever since dangerously trying it as a cheap thrill on a lunch date with a friend, I have been obseesed with finding dandelions and getting them in my belly. I finally found them in the produce section at the organic food store and when the clerk said "we also sell it as a tea" I nearly wet my pantaloons. Did I get this way over jelly fish, alligator, or fish balls? No way. My heart belongs to the dandelion.

As we speak, I am nursing a fiercly steeped cup of the stuff. I'm doing all sorts of good things for my insides with every sip. I'm hooking up my liver, reducing the risk of cancer, building up bone strength, and making my skin glow. All thanks to a warm patch of flowers that taste like sunshine. I totally love that.

Yesterday and today are totally putting me out workwise. This is the second week of night shoots heading into the weekend. I am not loving it. It makes me very ornery and pissy. It makes me cancel plans and not want to do things. I think I am going to pass on doing the promo on Saturday. If I work all night tonight (which I am scheduled to do) and then all day tomorrow, then I know I am going to bail on improv class on Sunday and I really don't want to do that. I don't want to lose focus. And I know I really want to be decadent on the Miami trip but I don't want to kill myself doing it. So the Saturday promo has to be out.

So the new lineup going into the weekend is work all night again tonight, take tomorrow off to recoup, then on Sunday it's the improv class and then a script reading for PIC's screenplay so he can hear it aloud before sending it to literary agents. That will be a lot of fun. It will also be exciting for him to hear his work read out loud for the first time by people other than himself. That's good stuff right there.

Dandelions will definitely be involved in my activites this weekend. They are so yummy! Okay, I'll stop pimping them now. 

Update on 43 Things

#32 is officially done.

One down, 42 to go.

But Mostly Because It Feeds My Soul

I miss being involved in a play.

There. I said it.

I miss being involved in a play of any kind. Even one with 15 characters who are all on stage together telling a completely different story.

I miss the inside jokes. I miss the camradarie. I miss the feeling of discovering a new character or re-learning an old one. I miss Theater Friends and making new ones. I miss getting lost in a story for several hours a night with a group of people who understand and feel the same passion. I miss needing a pencil in my bag. I miss memorizing things.

I miss tech week. I miss the panic of last dress rehearsal. I miss figuring out costumes mere days before opening. I miss needing glue for false lashes and rolling up my jeans under big costume skirts. I miss the nervousness of remembering cues and writing Cliffs Notes in my hands to remember lines. I miss looking at the playbill for the first time to see if my name was finally spelled correctly.

I miss the exhaustion of the first Sunday after opening weekend and the lost feeling of the first Monday after opening weekend - first too much to do and then suddenly... not nearly enough. I miss waiting all week for the show to start again and then panicking when the critics show up. I miss rushing through the wings to prank someone or wave across the stage to someone on the other side. I miss realizing that I don't need my script anymore. I miss realizing how much time I have between scenes to actually play with other actors who are also off-stage.

I miss closing weekend. I miss the sadness that it brings when you realize the dance is over and your new best friends are going to find new best friends and so are you. I miss standing in the wings to watch my favorite scenes for the last time. I miss praising my fellow actors in earnest. I miss getting goosebumps over the thought of having a tremendous experience. I miss final curtain. I miss "Mammy's" and strike. I miss cast parties and sad goodbyes.

I miss being involved a play.

I think, soon, I will have to do one.    

Magickat's 43 Things

After a lot of time and tweaking I think I finally finished my 43 things (www.43things.com). It's a fine list, I think. It's got plenty of variety to it and while some things will be quite simple to accomplish, others will take time and nuturing and some creative thought and so I am pretty darn happy with it. Matter of fact... I should be accomplishing a few of these things within the next several weeks! Here is the list I came up with:

1. Hold a monkey

2. Sing the National Anthem at a baseball game

3. Learn to play the piano

4. Drink sake with Geisha

5. Go to Austin, Texas

6. Hold a balloon tether at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

7. Learn how to change a tire

8. Get another tattoo

9. Go to dog massage therapy school

10. Win a sweepstakes

11. Be on Wheel of Fortune

12. Pose for an Art Frahm type painting

13. Go back to Malta

14. Learn how to make cheese

15. Go on a food tour

16. Run a marathon

17. Go to The Badlands

18. Adopt more dogs

19. Buy more books

20. Dance burlesque

21. Work abroad

22. Sing in a band

23. Get an agent

24. Make my own clothes

25. Have a bake sale

26. Meet Conan O'Brien

27. Grow my hair long

28. Do something meaningful for someone else

29. Participate in a pub crawl

30. Be a part of Fashion Week

31. Dance on a rooftop in Times Square

32. Get to level 50 on Dice City Roller

33. Find a decent monologue

34. Go to Seattle, Washington

35. Overcome my fear of flying

36. See one Broadway show a month

37. Be on Saturday Night Live in any capacity

38. Meet Carol Burnett

39. Build a kite

40. Visit all 50 states

41. Buy a set of plates solely for smashing purposes

42. Go to The Statue of Liberty

43. Read the biography of every First Lady

Some of these are very closely related - obviously there is a lot of traveling that needs to be done if I even want to THINK about finishing these things. And, that said, I sereiously need to overcome my fear of flying. I would love to be able to fly without taking a Xanax and crying during takeoff. Especially since I love visiting other places so much and traveling is such a big and important part of my life and one of the main things that makes me happy. Yeah... #35 is going to definitely be a priority for me.

And how shameful is it of me to live in New York and not have already accomplished #42? It's so wrong!

I'm pretty sure that #'s 1, 6, and 8 will be done by the end of the year and I probably will manage #'s 15, 19, 28, 29, 32, and maybe even 39 by the end of the month.

The rest might take a little more time but I look forward to finally having a complete list and working on it. Is anyone else listed on 43things? Let's link up!

I have so much to do in the next 24 hours in regard to the business of show. I have some serious mailing to do, phone calls to return, lots of thank you cards to write for recent bookings, and some updating to finish on my resume. I've been so busy working these last few weeks that I haven't had a chance to stop and take care of the paper side of things. Tomorrow is for that. And for going to the gym to work on my fitness for the Miami trip.

A Night On The Town? Priceless.

Although I felt terribly guilty about it, I ended up not working this weekend on the promotions. Between working in Boston, NYC, and Connecticut these last couple of weeks and between all the traveling and long days I have had as of late... I opted to actually take a break from working and do something unique: actually enjoy my life.

I had lunch with a friend and we dined on, amongst other things, dandelions. I was surprised at how good they were. Out of all the bizarre food we have tried lately (alligator, fish balls, and jelly fish) sauteed dandelions were a real treat. I would not recommend trying jelly fish but I give two thumbs up, way up, to the dandelion.

Afterwards I went out for some major boogie-down with my best friend and the other chickas who we are going to Miami with over July 4th weekend. I guess it was our Pre-Miami Boogie-Down Bender. We stayed up and out all night last night club hopping and having fun which is something I have not done in ages. We had a brilliant time and it was definitely a much needed energy release. I think I danced about 80 percent of the night. The other 20 percent was spent wasting my life away in bathroom lines. So annoying. Honestly it makes no sense to me what takes women so long in the bathroom. They certainly don't spend their time actually trying to aim for the toilet so what the fuck is it that they are doing in there?

I return to work tomorrow. I have a really... um.. interesting (?) Stand-In job that I am working on right now but I can't really say what it is at this point. I have to wait until all is said and done and then I can dish. I will say that it is a fascinating scenario to be in between the actresses and their dynamic not just between each other but in relation to acting. If I was asked to give three adjectives to describe what it is like I would say "shocking, thrilling, and bizarre". And I love it.

The rest of the week is starting to shape up with work as well and this weekend I am working a promotion as well as going to improv class. Other creative projects for the weekend may also surface depending.

Everything I've been looking forward to will begin in about two weeks. I will be starting a really exciting Stand-In job and also the intensives at UCB will be starting up. I am also planning on a few other classes for June and my birthday is less than a month away. Plus the Miami trip is coming up.

I've no complaints. Not a one. Life is good. Life is good.

The Current State Of My Life Right Now

Only... instead of moving, it's leaving town for work.... and instead of vacations, it's leaving town for work.

"Actually this is just a place for my stuff, ya know? That's all, a little place for my stuff. That's all I want, that's all you need in life, is a little place for your stuff, ya know? I can see it on your table, everybody's got a little place for their stuff. This is my stuff, that's your stuff, that'll be his stuff over there. That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff. That's all your house is: a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time. A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you're taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody's got a little pile of stuff. All the little piles of stuff. And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn't want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you're saving. All they want is the shiny stuff. That's what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get...more stuff! Sometimes you gotta move, gotta get a bigger house. Why? No room for your stuff anymore. Did you ever notice when you go to somebody else's house, you never quite feel a hundred percent at home? You know why? No room for your stuff. Somebody else's stuff is all over the goddamn place! And if you stay overnight, unexpectedly, they give you a little bedroom to sleep in. Bedroom they haven't used in about eleven years. Someone died in it, eleven years ago. And they haven't moved any of his stuff! Right next to the bed there's usually a dresser or a bureau of some kind, and there's NO ROOM for your stuff on it. Somebody else's s--- is on the dresser. Have you noticed that their stuff is s--- and your s--- is stuff? God! And you say, "Get that s--- offa there and let me put my stuff down!" Sometimes you leave your house to go on vacation. And you gotta take some of your stuff with you. Gotta take about two big suitcases full of stuff, when you go on vacation. You gotta take a smaller version of your house. It's the second version of your stuff. And you're gonna fly all the way to Honolulu. Gonna go across the continent, across half an ocean to Honolulu. You get down to the hotel room in Honolulu and you open up your suitcase and you put away all your stuff. "Here's a place here, put a little bit of stuff there, put some stuff here, put some stuff--you put your stuff there, I'll put some stuff--here's another place for stuff, look at this, I'll put some stuff here..." And even though you're far away from home, you start to get used to it, you start to feel okay, because after all, you do have some of your stuff with you. That's when your friend calls up from Maui, and says, "Hey, why don'tchya come over to Maui for the weekend and spend a couple of nights over here." Oh, no! Now what do I pack? Right, you've gotta pack an even SMALLER version of your stuff. The third version of your house. Just enough stuff to take to Maui for a coupla days. You get over to Maui--I mean you're really getting extended now, when you think about it. You got stuff ALL the way back on the mainland, you got stuff on another island, you got stuff on this island. I mean, supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain. You get over to your friend's house on Maui and he gives you a little place to sleep, a little bed right next to his windowsill or something. You put some of your stuff up there. You put your stuff up there. You got your Visine, you got your nail clippers, and you put everything up. It takes about an hour and a half, but after a while you finally feel okay, say, "All right, I got my nail clippers, I must be okay." That's when your friend says, "Aaaaay, I think tonight we'll go over the other side of the island, visit a pal of mine and maybe stay over." Aww, no. NOW what do you pack? Right--you gotta pack an even SMALLER version of your stuff. The fourth version of your house. Only the stuff you know you're gonna need. Money, keys, comb, wallet, lighter, hanky, pen, smokes, rubber and change. Well, only the stuff you HOPE you're gonna need."

George Carlin, A Place for My Stuff

My life is being lived out of boxes on wheels. Compartmentalized for my comfort and pleasure. Everything I need is packed, folded, organzied, easy to get to, and just behind that locked up zipper.

So busy working that I am not living. I think it will only be this way for about 4 more weeks. Then the fruits of my labor will be ripened.

One hopes.

The Queen Of Packing

Egads I am having a bit of a lonely week. I am working out of town and spending all my time either alone or intentionally silent. This is one of those weeks/jobs/current flows of life where I am doing something for the money and not the pleasure. I can liken it only to office work. I am here for the paycheck.

Ugh.

At any rate, I am doing what I can to make it as pleasurable as possible. I am trying to enjoy the city I am in as much as possible despite the rain and the awful traffic patterns (yes - this is a repeat city that I LOATHE driving in and have discussed this before - how with a GPS it is possible that I can still get lost in this place is beyond me). I am getting lots of milage out of my awesome new umbrella because every day we are being given one hour walkaway lunches - it has been good for the "making the most of another city" factor, rain be damned.

But I have been a bit bluesy. I feel like April is my holding pattern for everything exciting that is on tap in the next few months... and like an undisciplined child, I just can't stand the waiting and it is making me kind of cross.... and maybe perhaps slightly mood-manic. It's just been work and save, work and save lately and I want to start doing all the things I am saving for. Grrr.

The one fabu thing about today is that Madonna's new album came out and I am beside myself with bass-thumping joy. It's a great album. Every song has something exciting and killer about it. It's definitely helped to keep my spirits afloat today and so hooray for that.

I am on this job another two days before returning to the motherland (NYC) for two days of promotional work and, as usual, who knows what else. I am itching to be creative and it doesn't look like anything really interesting or ambitious is going to be happening for a while and I just need to face that. Deal with it, as they say.

I'd take anything at this point. Even a cha-cha with a stranger on the sidewalk.

You've Got To Smoke A Hookah Or Two

I'm so delighted that we are in the full swing of Spring. It's just such a good feeling to wake up and not be freezing and not have dusty skin. I get so happy when I can hear the woodpecker outside attacking our tallest tree with ferocity and the geese in the yard doing their walk and squalk.

More plusses - not being cold at work. Not being outside all day for work and being bitterly cold. And actually getting a healthy touch of sun and standing under a pink cherry blossom while working on a job that makes me very happy.

Another thing that makes Spring better than Winter - longer days and warmer nights so when I work from sunrise to sunset I don't feel like I need to scurry off to my apartment and get out of the cold. I can walk around the city and do things and enjoy a perfect night.

A perfect night would be something like raw oysters and ice cold beer at my favorite seafood restaurant, Mare, (which is on 8th Avenue in Chelsea should you ever be in town and get the notion to have the best seafood of your life) followed by a trip to the LES for an evening at a hookah lounge for some pinapple flavored hookah and a pitcher of sangria while listening to a live Latin band. A Latin band who, I am certain, was fronted by none other than Barack Obama.

Exhibit A:

Oh... you can't see him well in this picture? Please allow view Exhibit B:

I'm telling you that's Barack. I know for a fact because he sang only positive songs with only slight hints of back-handed compliments towards others and he used the word "rhetoric" in any song he could fit it into. Now I cannot say for certain if he actually smoked any hookah - which really in itself would not be illegal because there is a debate (yay - he loves debates!) on whether it actually has any sort of stimulating effects - but I can say that he was breathing only through his nose and was doing so in a deep, zen-like manner.

The jury is still out on the whole hookah thing. I think the endorphins kick in from having such a good time and doing such deep breathing that there actually is some sort of effect. I think when you are in a great mood, and feeling good, and listening to great music, and feeling the common vibe... I think you just have a natural high about you. It's called simply "joy" and the communal act of the hookah just adds to that.

I can't show too many other photos from an evening such as this between both the debaucery of it all and the potential legalities against trespassing (I kid, I kid) but the following have clearance.

This is a stranger who was cleaning his shop. I got him to Cha-Cha with me on the sidewalk. You can tell he is a good person because you can see his hand is trying to be polite with my lower back since he didn't know me. You can also tell he is a friendly person because we are totally cheek to cheek without knowing one another.. and... well... he Cha-Cha'd with me right on the sidewalk and didn't even know my name.

 

This is a church fence I scaled. It's kind of like my tribute to The Virgin Mary. I think this is how I think she picked up dudes back in the day because this fence was pretty damn high so there was no way anyone was going to make it up there to tap that.

Ah... my inner rapper. She always finds her way out somehow.

This is another stranger from a deli. This deli had the BEST sandwich - veggie burger on a roll with swiss cheese, portobello mushrooms, fresh sliced tomato, a little mayo, and a lot of love. I asked this stranger to pose crazy with me and this is what he gave me. I told him that although I appreciated his smile I wanted something completely wacky.

So he decided to blow his Diet Coke. He wins. Game over. That is totally fucking weird. Wacky, thy name is Stranger In A Deli.

Anyway that would be a perfect night. Not saying that this night actually happened but since there is photo evidence of it taking place, I'm pretty sure it actually did. I am not looking forward to work for the next two days but I have to suck it up and just do it since I've already committed to it and I really want to have lots of play money for my vacation to Miami over July 4th weekend so, alas, this crappy job must be done. I'm looking forward to Saturday and spending the day in Woodstock with The Tea Lady. Otherwise... that's all for now.

All Patients Report To The Table

I had the wonderful pleasure of seeing An Actor Darkly (his website link is in the blogroll to the right) perform the role of McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest last night at The Shea Theater in Turners Falls up in Massachusetts. It was quite a trek to get there but I truly didn't have a choice. Firstly ...Cuckoo's Nest is (for various reasons) one of my favorite pieces - also it is one of my favorite ensemble showcases, and just as An Actor Darkly is one of my favorite blog friends - he is also one of my favorite people to know in general.

That said, making the trip wasn't even a question. I went.

I enjoy seeing theater with friends but I almost equally enjoy seeing it alone. I either blend in with a large audience and bond with strangers over a great body of work or I perch in the corner of the seats and take it all in as an actor, as a fan of other actors, and as an observer of the entire theater experience. On this occasion I chose to perch because the layout of the space was so open thanks to the brick walls, the feeling of looking inside a house due to the design of the framework of the stage itself, and the stadium seats and vaulted ceiling. I knew right off the bat that I wanted to see everything that was available to see in the awesome open space so I went up to the top corner.

To say the play was incredible would be an understatement. I was so impressed with the male ensemble as a whole. They played their characters the way musicians would play their instruments in a symphony: they were completely seperate in their roles yet at the same time they were a single moving force on stage. I was sucked into the story right away and forgot that I was there to see a friend perform so when he came out for the first time I sat up a bit in my seat.

The role of McMurphy is tricky because it is, of course, forever linked with the version done by Jack Nicholson. I was so pleased that this was not a carbon copy of Nicholson's version because it could so easily have gone that route. This was his own version, it was full of all the wonderful subtleties that I love to see from an actor: small non-verbal gestures, body language unique to that actor's version and interpretation of that character. Good stuff. Good stuff.

I thought about the play all the way home and thought about it while falling asleep last night and thought about it while making soups today and thought about it while re-reading the reviews this particular performance got and thought about it while reading more about the play online and here is what I've determined. Sometimes when you see a stage version of something you leave wanting to do the piece, too. There are two reasons for this. One is that you have just seen a version so awful you feel you need to do it because you want to correct what you saw and fix it even though it will be in another theater, for another audience, who probably didn't see the debacle you did. The other reason is because you have just seen a version so inspiring you feel you need to try it too and feel some of the magic you know the actors must've felt. Not sure I am explaining this right but it's the only way I can think of.

At any rate, after contemplating over this performance for the last however many hours, I just know I want to be a part of a cast of ...Cuckoo's Nest myself one day. And not to correct, but to feel the same artistic pleasure and joy and satifaction that this cast surely has felt.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want for my future. I am in my mid-thirties now and don't see myself doing the magic thing much longer for more than a few reasons beyond the fact that it is so sparse anymore. I don't have lofty aspirations of becoming a well known actor - that has never been a goal of mine, nor a desire on any level. I don't see myself changing careers in any major way but I do think there is slowly a shift being put in motion. I am enjoying my classes and learning more comedically and so forth but I don't know that performing is what I want to do professionally for much longer. Maybe the play last night has gotten me a little melancholy about my future and what I am doing with it - and that is a good thing because art should make you think - but I think I am finding that I am a little confused about what exactly my point is careerwise and what exactly it is that I am doing. Yes I am an actor in my heart and in my spirit and yes I am definitely happy doing what I do for a living in order to be able to pursue acting roles when given the chance but I think I definitely have some defining to do about how long I will stick with it and the reasons for doing so. Or not.

Not sure how I ended up on that topic but I did and so that's all I can really say, I suppose. I continue to proceed with delight but I think I need to actually try and get a bit more clarity in where I am going with things.

What am I doing exactly? This needs to be figured out at some point.

Brother-Uncle

I try to stay away from anything truly serious or very political in this particular forum but I have to say something about the fine folks at the Yearning for Zion ranch.

I am going to bypass the whole polygamy thing at the very base of it and skip from the horror of the things that these 'religious leaders' have convinced and brainwashed their multiple wives and children to believe and I am going to go straight to the end result of the sickness this has created which is the fact that only by DNA testing can these 400 plus children know who their real mothers are.

It is such an entwined, such an incestual family tree that these people can not say for sure if some little boy is their child, their nephew, or their kid brother. Or if the little girl with braids and a bonnet is their cousin or their daughter or their niece.

And what's even sicker is that it is quite possible that the child could be all three at once.

And what is even MORE sick is the fact that the mothers (or is it big sisters-slash-cousins?) of these children have abandoned them and returned to the compound to continue to yearn for Zion with their collective baby-daddy (or is it brother-uncle?).

What in the fuck is going on in this world? Seriously. Honestly. Does anyone know where the base of reality and the base of goodness and true quality and enjoyment of life is anymore?

I have spent many conversations defending myself in regard to my religious beliefs (they are varied and mostly soil-bound) and my plans for mothering children (there are no plans to do so) and have been told, amongst other things, that I am insane and/or foolish and/or destined for hell and/or worthless and wasteful in the grande scheme of things. Just for believing that what 'God' really is is a colorful sunrise. And for not wanting to rear a child in a world that is, in my opinion, on the fast track to self destruction. For this I am dangerous and hellbound.

Well... as far as I can see... it's not nearly as dangerous and hellbound as having multiple daughter-cousins and not being able to properly identify who they are or be willing to stand by them in a time of crisis.

All in the name of 'God', I might add.

I will continue to be astounded by, and be inspired religiously by, the concept of perennial flowers and the fluttering of a butterflies wings - the true joy and wonderment and amazement of the incredible magic of life... most especially in the wake of this travesty of a father proclaiming 'God' by having underage wives in the double digits who have hundreds of children by him who they can't even properly identify who are now in the care of child protective services while the father/leader impregnates the wives again to replenish the flock.

Right now organized religion of any kind is just sounding more and more and more like a bad joke to me. Don't even get me started on the hats.

"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature." -Frank Lloyd Wright   (thanks Big Daddy)

Random Bits

Some things to note:

• When asked who my male equivelant to Allison Janney was, only one man came to mind. That would be William H. Macy. It's not even a debate.
• Finally I have found a decent monologue. It is an essay from a comedianne and philosopher that I have a lot of respect for. The piece speaks to me and I think it is concise with a true beginning and a true ending. It says something and it doesn't fall flat. I finally found a monologue that I am excited to start working on.
• As of April 30th, I am giving up my apartment in the city. I will miss it terribly. It is kind of sad but I think it is the right thing to do. I will barely be using it for the next two months and the money I save can be put in the fund towards actually buying a piece of property in one of the boroughs.
• For about two months I am giving up cheese. Well - not all cheese, just excessive amounts of it. I booked a great Stand-In job and my daily intake of cheese does not translate well on camera. Plus summer is coming and I am all about wearing a bikini this year. I will still eat cheese but I don't think I will have any melted cheese because that will most likely involve fried items. Those don't translate well on camera either.
• Thursday looks like it is going to be a very exciting day. I don't want to talk about it until after but I can say that it will be extremely out of the ordinary for me and will involve a pretty dress and heels. And an auction.
• I am not a thief, but few things give me greater joy than when I can steal a wireless signal on my laptop. The glee from being told I am "now connected" is hard to beat. Nothing can spoil my mood right now. I am happily surfing the net and watching videos on youtube and it's all on someone elses signal. Holla!
• Someone ostracized me from their inner circle. At first I thought it was me and that really crushed me and hurt my feelings for a long time. It messed with my head, made me insecure, and caused me to question my worth. Then over time and contemplation, I realized that making me feel hurt and left out made this individual feel good and helped them to walk a little taller and feel proud of herself. It gave her pleasure to see me sad and leave me out and boast about it. My feelings aren't hurt anymore. I think it's comical now. And largely pathetic. I continue to fly.
• My new tarot cards are fabulous. I bought them for the seminar I am attending in the summer. Seasoning (shuffling them to perfection) and studying them has been really exciting. When I season them I think about all the interesting people I am going to meet through the use of the cards and I get very excited. They will bring lots of joy and interesting memories, I think.

Hey Butterfly

And so it is Saturday.

A blur of week. A true blur. I worked hard and played harder. I held a butterfly (or two) on my fingertips. I had some stress, I had fun times that outweighed it, and I poorly danced The Running Man to the delight of others. And I even got decent amounts of sleep.

No complaints here.

All the madness of juggling schedules last week and trying to fit in everything that was offered to me ended up working out with start dates being pushed and shoot dates being rearranged. As it turns out I was able to say yes to just about everything that was really important without missing a day on anything. I was able to still work on the pilot and other projects this week and there were no conflicts with the Stand-In job that I booked that begins filming this month. If I have one regret, it is working on Thursday's miserable photo shoot but, then again, it gave me an opportunity to stay on the casting offices good side by saying yes to it so nothing really was lost and something, even if miniscule, was gained.

I signed up for membership at The Museum of Natural History this week. It's something I've wanted to do for a while. The membership allows me to visit as much as I like for a whole year. It also comes with passes to special exhibits and so forth and the museum is really close to my apartment so I plan to make the most of the membership. I went with a friend to the butterfly exhibit this week and it was really amazing. Hundreds of butterflies just flying about. I tried to keep my arm extended to encourage a landing and was able to get two butterflies to land on my hand.

The other photoable moment was this:

As you can see, while playing darts I managed a shot that is 2 in a million (since the guy at the dart board next to me told me that he once achieved such a feat as well). I managed to throw a dart and have it spear the dart I threw previously. I was pretty proud of myself, even though none of my darts that round landed on numbers that I actually needed to hit. I still celebrated with a little Robot and a big ole swig of ale.

Tonight brings a magic show performance and tomorrow I head back to the city for an improv class and work on Monday. I might try and see a show somewhere on Sunday night. The rest of the week is still up in the air with work and I will only know my schedule day by day. I am so happy to be busy again on a regular basis. The strike, more than anything else, just made me depressed.

Viva la Spring!

Doomed Day

What was supposed to be a power day has started off quite rocky. Karmatically I am in the right place: I have been in a great mood all week - busy and working, I have accosted many pups for full doggie molestation and ear scratching, and I have been smiling at strangers.

Today was supposed to be my day. It was destined to. I had nothing short of 10 job offers and auditions for April 10th - the acting world was my oyster today and I had the pick of the lot.

I picked wrong. And I am currently sitting in a room of 200 people who are all dressed like me but are twice as annoying and ten times as loud. And I am stuck here in this holding area trapped behind large windows that are an inch and a half thick making them an inch and a half too thick to keep me from embracing the first full day of sunny Spring-like weather with senses beyond sight. I can only look at the Manhattan skyline and watch the cars manuver like Hot Wheels and see the tour copters rising up and dipping about and plucking back down on the pad to pick up the next round of happy tourists and city lovers.

Not that I wasn't able to enjoy the city this morning. I was fortunate enough to get the shooting location incorrect thus providing me with an unexpected sprint under the Brooklyn Bridge and down cobblestoned streets. In my increasingly dampening long sleeved shirt and dress pants I ran with all my might, dodging dog doo piles and leaping over puddles lest I get any water on my shoes which luckily were not the right shoes for the shoot today. Which is fine since I also didn't have on the right color shirt.

This being due to the fact that I woke up late.

Oh did I mention that this also caused me to miss an audition I was called about for this morning?

My lucky day is not feeling so lucky right now. I hope for steady improvement as the day progresses.

Ideally Yours, Sunday

The magic show went great Saturday night. Outside of some technical issues and one gentle clocking to the head, everything went smoothly and was appreciated by the audience. Afterwards we went into the lobby to take pictures and sign autographs and answer questions. I had a good time posing with the kids and answering questions about my costumes and wigs. It was overall a really good performance and I look forward to our next show which is coming up this weekend.

In a manner of treating myself, I decided that I would spend the day yesterday doing things I enjoyed and Sunday turned out to be one of the most perfect and complete days I have had in a long while. It began with an improv class and I had a really good time. The teacher was someone I had never met before but had read about online and the exercises we did were a lot of fun. After class I decided to try and see a show. It was a toss up between Gypsy and Cry-Baby. I decided that if Patti Lupone was appearing in the matinee then I would see Gypsy. Luckily she was and luckily I was able to buy a ticket. I had a few hours to kill before the show started so I went totally tourist and had lunch at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - of all the tourist traps there are in New York City, this is one of the few I find tolerable. I had a nice lunch, drank some suds, and read a book.

Afterwards I went to the theater. My seat was in the last row of the mezzanine and off to the left. I've never sat up so high, I swear I think there were snow squalls and goats up there. The center section was vacant and I decided (as did the woman with the single ticket seated next to me, Claire - a lovely Aussie who might actually be a step or two down from being a Patti Lupone stalker based on what she was telling me) to move to the center of the mezzanine. Even though it was still the last row, it was a symmetrical view and was much more preferable. I have to say... Gypsy is one of the most fabulous shows I have seen in a long time. Gypsy has always been one of my favorite shows. Although I have never seen it on Broadway, I have seen the movie countless times and have gone to many local productions of it. I've always wanted to play Louise, I love all of the music, I love the story, it's just a great show all around. And of course then there is Patti Lupone who I am a HUGE fan of. Well... she completely tore it up. She was the PERFECT Rose and did the ultimate stage-mother nervous breakdown at the end. It was glorious. It was breathtaking. I was totally crying. Not just for her character, but for the fact that I was able to be there to see it live with my own eyes. She is so gifted, so tremendous. It's just completely moving to me.

Anyway, claps all around to that. I drove upstate after the show to see the boys and do a little R&R. The Star Wars episode of Family Guy was on and then after that I finally finished reading Born Standing Up, the autobiography Steve Martin wrote about his early years as a magician and comic. I found it very inspiring and was sad to see it end.

That said, it was the perfect way to end a perfect day - reading a book written by the man who should totally have been my dad. I can't complain about anything for a long time based on the perfection of yesterday. A whole day just for me doing all the things I enjoy at the pace I want to do them in.

Today I plan to get everything done around the house and upstate as it looks like I will be spending the rest of the week in NYC working on a couple of different projects, returning this weekend for a magic show, and then going back to the city for class on Sunday.

And maybe a little Cry-Baby.   

I Wished Too Hard

This has been such a hectic week. Lots of work, lots of driving, lots of phone calls, lots of bookings, lots of job offers - shit I had myself in a serious scheduling situation for a while there on a couple of the days. It's all for good though. The fact that my phone is ringing so much is a good thing. The new headshots are a success. And I guess I wish effectively and strongly. Almost too strongly it seems. I had a wish fulfillment overload but everything seems to have sorted itself out with dates and I [hopefully] picked the right projects to say yes to.

And because of my wishes come true, I had to unfortunately postpone my classes with the UCB Theater for a few extra weeks. On the plus side: I am taking an intensive instead of having the classes spread out over a couple of months so I have the joy of being submerged in a comedy environment without distractions every day for a week and the idea of that is very appealing. On the minus side: now I have to wait a few more weeks to begin and I am really anxious to start there. I still have the classes at The Magnet to hold me over until then but... it's still kind of a bummer.

However, I dwell not on disappointment. I have much to be grateful for right now. The next few weeks are going to be jam packed with work and I am thrilled about that. Lots of different projects in lots of different places. And I decided that since I had to push classes back at the UCB, then I am going to sign up for a course at The Omega Institute as well and make June a big old fashioned learning month. I am going to be taking the Tarot Reading Course to polish my reading skills and perhaps work at The Shakespeare Festival in the summer as a tarot reader. It's something I have always wanted to do and this is my year to do all the things I've been toying with in my head so there you have it. June is going to be amazing between Tiger Friends, the UCB classes, The Magnet, and The Omega Institute.

Oh I haven't mentioned Tiger Friends here yet? Yeah... my 2008 resolution to hold a monkey is coming true y'all. I told you it was going to be a big year.

But more on that another time. Right now I have something far more important to discuss. I am thrilled to say that I have met an online blogging friend rather unexpectedly... well about 2 weeks sooner than I thought I would. And it was a completely random, unplanned meeting. And it was one of the best feelings I have had in a long time.

One of my favorite actor blogs to read is An Actor Darkly. I've referred to it a few times here and have had it in the blogroll since the first time I read it. It's a great blog and I am a huge fan of it and it is the first one I read when I want to read performer blogs (yes I have my favorite blogs filed in folders so I can read by topic. I also keep everything in my cabinets with the label facing front and I use only black hangers in my closet - so what?) and pretty much every time I read an entry I get something out of it to use on my own when approaching acting.

I had been planning to finally meet the writer of the blog since he is performing the lead in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest at a theater in his area. Cuckoo's is one of my favorite ensemble stage pieces (second only to Reservoir Dogs which I saw staged once and almost died from the thrill of it). I was going to make the two hour drive to see his performance and finally meet this person of whom I have become a big fan.

Well now when I go to his performance, I will be happily going as a friend who has already met him. Sir Darkly {and his lovely girlfriend} and I met while in holding on a set in the Boston area.

I was a little nervous at first because:

1. I have a bit of a social anxiety problem

2. Since I had to get up at 3am to make the drive to set, my hair was not styled and shiny the way I prefer it but was pulled into a ratty ponytail. And anyone who knows me knows that I feel like a nothing when I don't have my styled and shiny hair going on.

and

3. I was afraid he would not like me as much in person as he would in the blog world because I can be a little... hmmm... gregarious?

Great news: Sir Darkly kicks serious ass and is as insane as I am and we spent all day laughing. We were joking about so many things that I was tearing up repeatedly from laughter and was grinning all the way until the 1am wrap. And he confessed his secret walk that he likes to do when he thinks no one is looking (knowing from my blog that I like to "catwalk" when I am alone) and he didn't judge me when I did the weird seating thing that I do when sitting with a large group. And we joked about beating up plastic baby dolls. And "debris" is my new favorite word thanks to his utterly perfect usage of it. And he he just makes me crack up I almost can't stand it. And!!!! we totally hated the same people in holding. These are all major MAJOR plusses. Not to mention that his girlfriend is also lots of fun and I completely dig her, too!

And on top of all the other great things that have happened this week, I have just been recently alerted that Chuck Scarborough is now living in Dutchess County!  Hooray.... hooray... hooray, hooray, hoorah!

Life is so fucking good. I'm going to keep wishing for happy things.